Flight VS 601 from London Heathrow to Johannesburg did not crash today. But it may just as well have.

This was not my first flight as the headline may suggest. I am not a Virgin flyer, but wow it felt like my first time: Clumsy, delayed, quick to bite me in the ass and a little bit painful to say the least!!!

My flight back to South Africa today was possibly the worst flying experience of my entire life. I think i will go so far as to say that not even Olympic Airways was this bad.

To List a few issues nice and quickly so that no one is bored by yet another painful airline rant.

• The Plane was delayed by an hour due to a staff member being late.
• The meal (dinner) was served at close to 23:30. not all at once, but the left side of the plane followed by the right and occasionally some passengers in between (i love watching other people eat).
• The in-flight entertainment system worked for me, but not for others. They then shut it down for about 2 hours. Mine then didnt work and everyone elses did. Nice.
• I asked the flight attendants three times for a pen, i didnt get one.
• The flight was BOILING, the first flight of my life i planned for aircon (thick jacket etc) and there was none.
• they overbooked the flight. EVERY SEAT WAS TAKEN!!!

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Ha! HA HA! guess fucking what? I am going to London tomorow night, I have posted about this already. But there is a kicker here, my forex (foreign exchange) is to be picked up today by yours truly. Well I am unbelievably excited to report that todays exchange rate is the highest it has been for the pound in over three years.

How lucky am I? i get to pay out of my ass for my £200... yes my £200 is going to cost my about R5 more per pound than i ordered it for... lucky lucky little me.

Fuckin exchange rates and fucking Zuma and fuckin Shabir Shaik-my-ass, and fucking anything else that has fucked the economy the day before i am meant to travel.

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I was scheduled to leave the Port Elizabeth airport at about 17:10...We left at about18:30. Awesome. Its amazing, the plane actually got off the ground, thats not the amazing part. The amazing part is that every infant in the ENTIRE fucking country was on the same plane as mine. Not only did they delay our plane (I am guessing the babies had prior arrangements to uphold) but they sat next to me, on top of me, behind and in front of me.

I thought that planes of that size mostly carried like a couple hundred people, max. I WAS WRONG, there were about 2 gazillion babies on this plane and they all sat by me. No i digress, they did not sit, the cooed, and coochied and wailed and cried and yelled and messed and Holy Mother of anything good and gracious on this Earth. I wanted to actually kick the window in (I managed a window seat) and jump right out of that plane. But then i thought that i would be destroying the potentially fantastical lives that these infants might one day have. If they stopped yelling.

Speaking of the window seat; the joy of the window seat is that you get to lean your head on the window, or thereabouts and have a lekker little kip in the corner...Not so much. No sleep, baby, no cleanliness, baby, no nothing, baby. I am also one of those people who likes to exit the airplane while it is still moving. I do not like to hang around on planes for longer than need be, but i was trapped like a drowning rat smelling the end,..and it was baby poop.

But hey, I got off the plane, i got outside and i got home. Happy and snug in Jozi again.

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I hate Manhatten,

I really do, I know I go there often but I hate it. Today I hate it cause I am supposed to be at gym about an hour ago and my head hurts and i have work to do and even the moaning that im doing right now is bugging me!!!!

Stupid 2 for 1, stupid Klippies, Stupid Juger, Stupid stupid stupid.

Out.

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One of my best friends, Erin, sings in the UCT Choir. They are up in JHB for the week doing a little tour or something. I went to watch them perfom last night at a church near the Zoo Lake.

Wow, what an experience. I mean the choir is great, they girls are hot, they can all sing, etc etc etc bullshit. Wonderful. But here we sat, watching a half Jewish girl (Erin), her dad who is jewish and many other religions, races and creeds singing songs about Jesus, about the new and old testament, Im an atheist and I was listening to it. Dont get me wrong, i can appreciate the validity of the half sacred half secular vibe that they choir attempts. But seriously, why is it that choirs must sing in churches, and must sing sacred songs written in the early hundreds by some dude that we have never heard of???

The second part of the show was a much better, upbeat, secular, African jives etc. Lots of fun, and it was fun cause the choir wasnt trying to hang themselves by the cross hanging over their heads. Seriously, they became enjoyable because they were singing in english (And Zulu amongst other African Langauges) and not in Latin, who sings in latin anymore?

I know it sounds great and is moving to the elderly folk in the audience but times they are a changin believe it or not. So lets get it on (the al green version not the Celebrity Death Match version), lets make love tonight, lets get fucked up and lets sing the praises of the lives we lead, not the lives that some latin guy lead a gagillion years ago.

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I LOVE HELLOPETER!!

I made this complaint on hellopeter.com today:

Attempting to get my Cellphone repaired at Vodacom Sandton I was repeatedly told there were no loan phones available. I was told that I would simply not recieve calls while my phone was being repaired. I recieved bad service (a lady sending SMS's while helping me). I eventually pushed the issue. The manager was called and proceeded to give me the last "loan phone" out of his pocket. He was using the Vodacom Loan phone that i was initialled denied for his personal cellphone usage that day.

I have such a huge, massive, um big problem with service in South Africa. Companies seem to think that as consumers we owe them something for their existence. When in fact, it is the large corporate who actually needs to get on their knees for the consumer. I KEEP YOUR FREAKING BUSINESS IN BUSINESS YOU ASS!!

But alas, this is not the case. When i made my complaint with the Manager at Vodacom in Sandton a few days ago, he cocked his head, smiled and told me that as soon as I left he would reprimand the lady who did not take proper care of me and my issue. HA!!! As if. he then took the loan phone that i was assured did not exist, out of his pocket and placed it on table in front of me. No skaam whatsoever.

The only person who suffered in this situation was me. And the only thing that got them to jump was when i walked over to Cell C and subsequently returned to Vodacom threatening to transfer my contract there and then (this didnt work as well as planned as the law only kicks in on the 18th of September). But my point was made.

hellopeter.com - Free service line containing comments on good and bad service experiences.

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